SCI-FI WEEK #5: Neglect to mention important details


The Mhal-Evol’Unt warbirds wheeled round to face Captain Dash Gallant’s small spacefighter. He could see the ion disruptor projection turrets glowing as they came online. He only had seconds before they fired. Fumblebot burbled a panicky stream of beeps. The ship’s ComSys panel crackled with static as the alien weapons began to warp the surrounding space.
‘Captain Gallant,’ came Colonel Daringman’s faint voice. ‘Report in. Are you there, Dash?’ Ignoring the Colonel’s urgent question, Dash narrowed his eyes at the warbirds and licked his lips.
‘Just a little closer,’ he muttered to himself. Fumblebot trilled a warning. The ship started to shake. ‘Closer...’ Dash whispered. Around him, alarms were blaring. He closed his eyes. ‘Here goes nothing,’ he said, flicking an innocuous-looking red switch above his head.
When he opened his eyes a few seconds later, the first thing he noticed was how empty the space in front of him was. Where there had been three Mhal-Evol’Unt warbirds, there was now nothing but a few glittering particles of spacedust.
‘Dash,’ said Colonel Daringman over the ComSys, ‘what the grakhl happened out there?’ Captain Gallant paused before answering.
‘I used the prototype Temporal Gluon Disruptor that Fumblebot fitted just before we left. Those Mhal-Evol’Unt dhuvfuts are probably in the heart of a dying star in the year five billion by now. I know you said it was dangerous, untested technology and I wasn’t to use it, but I didn’t have a lot of choice.’ For a few seconds, the ComSys panel was silent.
‘Dammit, Gallant,’ said Colonel Daringman eventually, ’that’s why you’re the best man we’ve got. But next time, check with me before you risk destroying the entire universe, okay?’
‘Yes sir,’ said Dash Gallant, grinning inside his helmet.

8 comments:

  1. Yeah, how come that's acceptable in Sci Fi?

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  2. Dash! - Ahaaaaa - Saviour of the Universe...

    :-)

    x

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  3. You get bonus points for technobabble rubber science on this one. So star trek.

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  4. Nick Lowe: "Everyone knows, I imagine, the story of the Flaz Gaz Heat Ray, perhaps the most outrageous deus ex machina ending in all literature. There the heroes were, stranded deep in an enemy sector of space, surrounded by an entire enemy fleet with the guns trained on them, when the maestro [Lionel Fanthorpe] realized all of a sudden he had only one page left to finish the book. Quick as a flash, the captain barks out: "It's no use, men. We'll have to use the Flaz Gaz Heat Ray." "Not – not the Flaz Gaz Heat Ray!" So they open up this cupboard, and there's this weapon that just blasts the entire fleet into interstellar dust. One almighty zap and the thousand remaining loose ends are quietly incinerated."

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    Replies
    1. The Flaz Gaz Heat Ray has become a legend, and has developed a life of its own. So here are the facts. The book was The Intruders. It is true that Lionel Fanthorpe brought it in towards the end, but in not quite the dramatic way depicted. (1) It was brought in 8 pages from the end, not one. (2) It was brought in after the protagonists had used quite a few other weapons, all to no avail, so it did not appear quite so artificial. (3) It was not used against an enemy fleet, but against the protective force field surrounding their saurian opponents. (4) Its success was only temporary. The enemy returned, and the protagonists were able to get away only in the last paragraph on the last page.
      You can find the whole novel in PDF form on www.peltorro.com.

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  5. "Activate the Omega-13."

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