COMEBACK WEEK #4: Alienate your existing readership


‘It’s good to see you, Samantha,’ purred Dash, his velvety voice as smooth as silk. ‘I can’t think of anyone I’d rather come back to.’
‘I feel the same way,’ purred Samantha, her velvety voice as smooth as silk. ‘And to think that some of these pilots come back from a dangerous mission and the only person there to greet them is their maintenance robot.’
‘Yes, can you imagine?’ purred Dash, his velvety voice as smooth as silk. ‘What kind of person would form a deep personal bond with something as stupid as an adorable robot sidekick? That’s the kind of childish conceit than only an idiot would enjoy.’
After laughing for a minute or two, Dash paused, alert. Amid the hilarity, he could hear the unmistakable sound of a LaserBlasterGun powering up. He turned around. Colonel Daringman was coolly pointing his weapon directly at Dash’s chest.
‘You weren’t supposed to come back,’ purred the Colonel, his velvety voice as smooth as silk. ‘But you just don’t learn, do you?’

9 comments:

  1. Oooh, I always knew he was too good to be true. (Of course, quite which of Dash and Daringman this applies to is unclear — try back later.)

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  2. Comeback week is getting sexy AND dangerous. Just like Dash!

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  3. Wait, where are the aliens?

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  4. I hope the next post will be an Ikea Erotica threesome between Dash, Daringman and Samantha. Who inexplicably turns back into an adorable robot sidekick mid-action. And then a space-polar bear turns up.

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  5. Why existing reader should be alienated ?

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  6. the kind of childish conceit than only an idiot would enjoy. >>
    the kind of childish conceit that only an idiot would enjoy

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  7. PLOT TWIST!
    Colonel Daringman evil all along!
    The robot buddy's just as annoying to Dash as he is the audience!
    What secrets will be revealed...?
    Next time, on [whatever this show's called]!

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  8. So, are their voices like silk, or like velvet?
    Those are very different materials.
    The texture of velvet isn't as smooth as silk, so how smooth does it get before it stops being velvety?
    (I can discuss the nature of qualia, or I can picture the scene Joel described. I've made my choice.)

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